Unspoken Feelings
by Whiitewolf
Summary: JJ's in terrible condition and might not pull through. Hotch finally realizes his feelings for her, but is it too little, too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This will be a short story, possibly three-four chapters? Just an idea that came into my head. Wanted to write it out. :) **

**I apologize for reposting this story several times. But whenever I do, myself and a lot of my other readers get an error message when trying to read it hours later. Confusing? Yes. :s **

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><p>"Where is she?" Hotch demanded, he made a beeline towards the front desk the second he stepped foot inside the hospital. He ignored the looks from the other visitors, patients and staff that were shot his way.<p>

"Who, sir?" the tired receptionist questioned him carefully. Her blue eyes met his briefly before turning back to the computer.

"Jareau, Jennifer Jareau, I just got a call saying she was being admitted here," Hotch barked out, trying to regain his breath. _Please let her be okay. Please let her just be waiting in a room for us to see her._

"Hotch!" Morgan's voice called out from behind him.

He turned to see Morgan and Emily come in through the main doors, they quickly made their way over to him.

Impatiently, he turned back to face the woman behind the desk. "Well?"

"I'm searching sir," the woman said, trying to keep her tone steady. It took a few long seconds, seconds which felt like hours before she found what she was looking for. "Miss Jareau is currently in surgery."

"How bad?" Hotch asked the evident fury causing the lady to not meet his eyes. Instead, she kept her eyes downcast.

"Man, you need to calm down," Morgan said as he stood by the Unit Chief's side. The distress was evident in his tone as well, but he was trying to keep his head together.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that sir," the grey haired lady responded.

"FBI," Hotch half yelled, holding out his badge.

Before anyone had the chance to respond, a young doctor came out by one of the doors. "Aaron Hotchner?" he questioned.

"I need to know how my agent is doing," Hotch said hoarsely. He didn't quite understand why he was getting so heated. He cared about his team, he knew that. But he shouldn't be losing his head in this situation.

"Sir, if you'll just come with me," the doctor tried to persuade him.

"Just tell me," Hotch demanded sharply.

"Hotch," Emily tried to soothe.

"Don't," Hotch said harshly as he pulled away from the comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Sir if you'll just-" the doctor began again.

"Just tell me!" Hotch said in a tone of forced calm.

"Agent Jaraeu sustained serious injuries, she's currently in surgery and-"

"What are her chances?" it was Emily who demanded the information this time.

The doctor sighed, this was not how he wanted to talk to the agents. He'd hoped being FBI agents they'd be a bit more calm. "She's not waking up, her chances aren't good and it'll be a miracle if she pulls through." He spit it all out at once, preparing for the outburst. It never came. The agents just stood there in shocked silence.

Aaron barely managed to make it to a chair before collapsing.

"What's going on?" a breathless Reid asked as he came in, followed closely by Rossi and Garcia.

"JJ, accident, surgery, not going to make it-" Hotch broke off, squeezing out words in between his deep breaths.

"We don't know that for sure," Emily started.

Hotch didn't respond, the shock overwhelmed him. Why was he getting so emotional over all this? He was normally able to keep it masked. It shouldn't be JJ, not their JJ. She was a young mother. Will had been killed in the line of duty last year and Henry was all she had. He already knew that Jack's life was changed forever without a mother.

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it did no good. JJ might not live and this was something they had to come to terms with.

_"Losing someone is never easy. But one day, you'll remember her and you won't hurt. You'll be happy."_

Her words echoed in his head and he'd always been grateful to her for that. The other members of the team never seemed to want to push when it came to Hailey's death, or even bring her up. But JJ had said something and let him know he wasn't alone. He didn't know how he'd be able to handle it if JJ... He couldn't even say it.

She had to live. For Henry, for the victims, for the team, _for him. _She'd been there for him and he'd always done his best to be there for her, but was it ever enough?

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><p><em>"JJ?" a concerned Hotch voice asked as he walked into her office.<em>

_"Yeah?" she answered, refusing to look up, not wanting anyone to see the tears that flew so freely down her face._

_"What's going on?" he asked determined to get answers._

_"It should have been Will's birthday today." The small voice that answered him sounded so feeble and child like it tore his heart in two._

_What could he say? There wasn't much he could say. You couldn't say it'll be okay, that he'd want her to be happy. Truthfully, everyone tells that to someone who's lost someone and it doesn't make it better. All he could say was 'I understand,' and he did understand. And the grateful small smile she shot his way made it clear that it meant something to her, that he was there for her. Not just as her boss, but as a concerned friend._

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><p>"Everyone, I have something to say," Hotch spoke up, feeling a bit ashamed for his earlier outburst. "I just want to apolo-"<p>

"No need, Hotch," Emily said jumping to her feet. "We all have bad days. None of us are perfect all the time."

"I'm aware of that but it really was out of line how I acted, in fact, I have no idea why I acted that way," Hotch told the group.

"I do," Rossi said matter of factly.

"What?" Hotch asked, confused.

"You love her," Dave said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. A small smile appeared on his face, despite the terrifying situation.

"I don't understand," Hotch finished lamely.

"It's obvious, Aaron, you've fallen in love with JJ."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thanks for the kind reviews! They all made my day. =D Not too sure where I'm heading with this story, but I hope it works out okay. It may be a bit corny, but hey... Sometimes.. Corny works. **

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><p>"What?" Hotch asked out loud as he again, collapsed onto the chair. Fallen in love with JJ? He barely heard the voices around him. Was it possible? He'd always felt a strong connection to her, but he'd chopped that down to being close friends. Now that he thought about it, what he had with Emily was more friendship. She, he would consider his closest friend because JJ meant something more. Rossi was right. He had feelings for JJ, how had he not noticed it before?<p>

"Hotch?" the voice finally reached him and he snapped his head up. It was Emily. She was talking to him.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her head tilted in obvious concern.

He nodded, briefly. His thoughts remained in a whirl. He loved her, it was so obvious and yet he hadn't known. It was right in front of him the whole time. Did she feel the same? Anxiously, he tried to profile her. They'd grown close since Will had died. It was possible. The thoughts consumed him and he couldn't be sure. It was all so overwhelming.

Gritting his teeth, he willed she'd pull through. She had to pull through. When he'd gotten the call earlier, saying she was being rushed in an ambulance, he'd felt his entire world crumble. That should have been his first clue. How had he not known? Yet Dave pieced it together right away. How long had he known? Had the others known?

Probably, aside from Reid. Romance, relationships and love... He wasn't too good at seeing the obvious stuff like that. Maybe it'd become more obvious once Reid got his own girlfriend.

A car accident. That's what had caused all this heart break and misery. Could good come out of this? If she pulled through, he'd admit his feelings. He had to. The urge came to go find the driver that hit her in the hospital. The man had been texting on his phone and had gone through a red light. He had minor injuries. It wasn't fair. He was the cause and he had minor injuries.

No, that wasn't right. He had to focus on the task at hand. How long had he loved her? It'd always been her he worried about. When she confronted unsubs, when she went on raids or even just to talk to a witness. He worried. He worried way more than he did for any other member. He cared about them all and it wasn't because he thought she wasn't capable. In fact, she'd exceeded his expectations.

He'd loved her for a long time. He didn't want to lose her, not when he'd already lost Hailey. She was an asset to the team, and important to him. She'd already left them once. When she'd been forced to leave the team. He hadn't been able to explain why it felt like his heart was breaking then. And now it all made perfect sense.

It took mere seconds from the Doctor walking in for Hotch to be up on his feet. "How is she?"

The Doctor paused briefly before explaining, "we managed to stop the bleeding. She's still alive but she has yet to wake up."

Hotch didn't know whether to feel relieved or crushed. She was still alive. That was what mattered.

"Can we see her?"

The Doctor nodded, before gesturing for them to follow. He didn't even bother to enforce the 'two visitors at a time' rule.

Hotch felt his heart shatter upon entering the room. There JJ lay, covered in wires. She looked so small and fragile.

"Oh, my baby girl," Garcia exclaimed, not trying to hide the tears any more.

There was silence as they all just watched their JJ lay so helplessly on the bed. Hotch heard the shaken breaths and looked up to see Morgan put a comforting hand on Reid's shoulder. Rossi leaned against the walls, crossing his arms while Emily stood beside him. Emily could hardly bring herself to look at her friend.

As if there was an unspoken message, the rest of the team left, leaving Hotch with JJ on his own.

Sighing to himself, he pulled a chair up beside her bed. He winced when he took her hand into his own. It felt so cold, so tiny and fragile. As if he could break it with a light squeeze. She didn't look too bad on the outside, considering the severity of the crash. But he knew the damage was inside.

"JJ, please wake up. We need you. Henry needs you. Jack needs you," Hotch broke off when his voice cracked. He squeezed his eyes shut and pictured the memories. Him and JJ being the only parents on the team, they often had brought their children to the park together. Jack adored JJ. If Jack lost JJ, too... He wasn't sure how the boy would handle losing the only other mother figure he had.

Memories of Hailey's death came back. The nightmares that plagued Jack, causing him to wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

"JJ, I need you too," Hotch admitted. "You don't know how much you mean to me. You saved me." That was when his voice broke off. His eyes watered with the tears that threatened to fall.

He watched her carefully. Hoping for a sign, any sign. Nothing happened. What had he expected? She couldn't even hear him. Even though this was true, he didn't let her go. He continued to hold onto her hand. He hoped, that somehow... She would come back to him. She had to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the wait, have a lot of other things going on. But here we go! Last chapter! This was originally 2 chapters but they were both so short I combined them. **

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><p><em>JJ swam furiously. The waves appeared to be getting higher and she was growing more and more tired. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep swimming. Her thoughts drifted to how peaceful it would be to just sleep... To fall down to the soft sand beneath the surface and sleep. <em>

_Somehow, she managed to keep swimming, despite the aggravating pain in her arms and legs. She'd stopped trying to swim so fast and was now doing a gentle breast stroke. Just as long as she could stay above the water. _

_I'm going to be okay, she thought to herself. I have to. I have to get to land. _

_Her eyes scanned her surroundings. Land wasn't even sight. She wasn't sure she could do this. In fact, she knew she couldn't. She'd been swimming for hours and was in so much pain. She couldn't even see land... _

_"I'm sorry," she said aloud. She wasn't sure to who, but she knew she had to say it. Squeezing her eyes shut, ignoring the stinging of the salt, she prepared to let herself fall under water. But that's when she heard her name. _

_"JJ!" she snapped her eyes open and looked and to her left there was a small boat! Her heart soared. Someone had come for her, but who? _

_She lifted her head a bit more and squinted trying to ignore the falling rain. Who ever it was... was smiling, and he was holding his hand out to her. She didn't know why but a part of her didn't want to take his hand. It seemed so easy to just give up. _

_"JJ, take my hand," he demanded. _

_Of course she would. It was Hotch, it'd always been Hotch. That's when she reached out and took his hand. _

"Hotch," she said softly, forcing her eyes open. The bright lights of the room caused her to squeeze them shut again.

"JJ, I'm here," he said with a relieved smile, taking hold of her hand.

"She's awake?" Emily asked walking into the room. "I'll get the doctor."

"Oh, JJ, I thought I'd lost you," Hotch whispered not even having noticed Emily enter the room.

"I'm okay," JJ murmured, still struggling to open her eyes. She gave Hotch's hand a quick squeeze. "Thank you for being here with me."

"Anything, JJ," he said, fighting back tears. She was okay. She was really okay. He had to tell her. He didn't want this to ever happen again, but how did he tell her? How could he possibly tell her?

"Hotch, I have something I need to tell you," JJ coughed now that she'd finally opened her eyes. She ignored the sharp pain in her head.

"Sure, anything." What he had to say could wait. She had to rest.

"I love you."

The words didn't sound real to him. In fact, a part of him was certain he must be dreaming. "What?" he asked.

"Oh god, I'm so stupid. I'm sorry, Hotch... I just," JJ broke off tearfully. "I was so scared and -"

Her words were cut off as Hotch leaned in closer. His lips were by her ear and she felt her heart pound. "Don't be silly, I was just shocked because... I love you too."

They'd said it. There was no going back. Both of them froze, not sure what to say after that.

Before they had a chance to recover and talk about it, Emily was back with the doctor right behind her.

"Hi, JJ, I'm Doctor Whitelaw. I'm here to go over some things with you and check some things out."

Hotch gave JJ's hand a quick squeeze before walking out of the room.

He'd told her. That's what mattered. But now if possible, he was even more anxious than before. Where did they go from here? They couldn't go back.

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><p>As luck would have it, Hotch wasn't able to see JJ for the next few days... Psychopath's didn't seem to care about his love life. And when he finally saw her again, she was already out of the hospital.<p>

His heart pounded in his ears while he walked up her drive way. She'd opened the door before he'd even had a chance to knock.

"Hotch," she smiled, the joy reaching her beautiful eyes. "I haven't seen you."

"I'm sorry," he said, shifting his weight awkwardly.

"I guess we need to talk, huh..." JJ trailed off. She tried very hard not to show the fear in her eyes. She was so scared. She'd told him and now he had come here to tell her that they had to act like nothing happened. She just knew it...

What happened next took her by complete surprise. It took her a few seconds to react when he kissed her. He kissed her lightly at first and when she'd finally reacted he kissed a little harder. And as forceful as the kiss was, JJ felt warm, safe and secure.

When he pulled back, the look on her face was answer enough. JJ's eyes were wide open and the passion he saw in them made him gently frame her face with his hands. He lowered his head once more and his lips grazed her nose, forehead and when she finally closed her eyes, his lips met hers once more. They slowly made their way into the house and he kicked the door shut behind him.

It was as if nothing else existed to her. Nothing even mattered. It was only her and Hotch. They were alone and he'd kissed her and she'd kissed him back.

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><p><strong>I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. ;) <strong>

**And I apologize if the kissing scene was weird. Despite how long I've been writing, this was my first. **


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